if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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