He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
