i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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