Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
