I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
