awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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