Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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