she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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