If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
How's work?
Spinning.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
