Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize