.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
