i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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