the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
there is glitter all over my balls
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
