You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize