that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
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The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
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The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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