Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
