This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
