I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
