she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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