I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize