Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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