She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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