Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
