Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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