I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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