Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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