wake up i wanna do it froggy style
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
