no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
