Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
