She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
