Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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