Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
