I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My vagina is very pro this idea
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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