I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
