I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
