Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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