basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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