your thong is hanging out like whoa
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
