Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
