Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
