the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize