How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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