pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
