Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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