apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize