Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize