South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
