You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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