Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
