i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
