I'm so fucking centered right now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
porn star boner night. come get it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
