Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
