Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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