On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly