Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
