Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
