I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
