OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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