how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
