Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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